


Comes and Goes in Waves

by Bluehaven4220



Series: Benny and June: Not Like the Movies [1]
Category: due South
Genre: Family, Father-Daughter Relationship, Flashbacks, M/M, Minor Canonical Character(s), Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-20
Updated: 2016-11-20
Packaged: 2018-09-01 04:01:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8606449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bluehaven4220/pseuds/Bluehaven4220
Summary: Abigail Fraser comes back to Chicago after visiting her grandparents in Fort Norman to discover that her father has, twenty-one years after being widowed, fallen in love again.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Continuation/sequel of "The Water's Edge and the Harbour Town" (depending on how you see it). You don't HAVE to read that one first to understand, but it might help with context.
> 
> I could not have done this without help from ButterflyGhost. Talking through ideas, seeing what would work with the timeline we'd already established, and what ideas needed to be placed elsewhere for another time. Thank you so very much!
> 
> Currently unbeta'd, so all mistakes are mine

 I’d forgotten just how long it would take to get from Fort Norman back to Chicago. Granted, after living in Chicago for over nine years, you tended to forget these things. After being in the air and transferring planes in four different cities, I’d been traveling for over twenty-four hours. Frankly, I was just looking forward to getting back to the apartment my dad and I shared, having a hot shower, and crawling back into bed.

Grabbing my duffel bag from the baggage carousel, I pulled it up and over my shoulder, preparing to walk out and get a cab if my father’s plans had changed at the last minute. Turning the corner, I looked up and saw him standing almost at parade rest.

I felt my face break out into a wide smile as his did the same, and dropped my bag, running toward him.

“Daddy!” I shouted as I jumped into his arms, squeezing tightly.“I missed you, I missed you so much!”

“I missed you too, baby girl,” he whispered, kissing my cheek. Setting me back on my feet, he picked up my bag and carried it out to where his partner, I think his name was Ray Kowalski,was waiting. Dad had called me while I’d been at college and told me that he had a new partner (Ray Vecchio had been reassigned, but that’s all he knew), and that his new partner’s name was also Ray. Well, Stanley Raymond Kowalski, apparently, but he went by Ray. Okay, perfectly fine by me. Anyway, we walked outside to see Ray Kowalski waiting by his car, smiling when we reappeared.

“You must be Abigail,” he greeted me, walking around the car and stuck his hand out in greeting. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“All good things, I hope,” I smiled as I shook his offered hand.

“Abigail, this is my partner, Ray Kowalski,” Dad introduced us properly as he loaded my bag into the trunk.

“Oh, _you’re_ Ray, it’s very nice to meet you. I’ve only ever heard your name.”

“Well thanks very much,” he smiled at me. “Fraser, you didn’t tell me Abigail was so tall!”

“Takes after me in that respect,” Dad closed the trunk and went around to the passenger side, moved the seat forward and allowed me to climb in the back before getting into the front. “I’m glad you’re home, Abby. I missed you terribly.”

“Me too, Dad,” I gave him a smile as I felt my eyes start to close. “I’m really sorry, Ray, but I think I’m going to fall asleep in your car and I’ve only just met you.”

“Go for it, Abby,” he looked in the rear view mirror. “Your Dad told me you’ve been traveling for over a day. If you pass out, no problem.”

“Thank you,” I covered my mouth as I yawned, closing my eyes. As I did, I could have sworn I saw Ray put a hand on Dad’s thigh.

“You’ve got a beautiful kid, Ben,” he whispered.

If that was what I thought it was, I was too tired to say anything more. We stopped at a stoplight, and then I didn’t see anything else.

I must not have been asleep for very long, as pretty soon I felt Dad shaking my shoulder. “Abby, we’re home.”

I vaguely remember getting out of Ray’s car and up the stairs to the apartment we’d had since we moved to Chicago. Mrs. Schwartz was still our landlady, but she was looking a little bit older lately, patting my cheek whenever she’d see me, remarking on how tall I’d gotten, and how I was a credit to my Dad. All the good things that older ladies usually told their grandchildren. My guess was that she didn’t have any grandchildren of her own, and with me being one of the only children in the building who wasn’t presently toddler or school age, she doted on me a little, and always had. It was a small building, and many of the tenants came to think of each other as family. Dad opened the door, and kept Dief at bay so that I could get to my bedroom without interference. Unpacking and food could wait until later.

I woke up several hours later and stumbled out toward the living room. Not quite awake, I didn’t even recognize the smells coming from the kitchen.

“Dad?” I called out.

“Hey, you’re up,” I heard the smile in his voice. “Keep stirring if you would, Ray.” Oh, Ray was still here… Dad must have invited him to dinner as a thank you for picking me up at the airport. “Do you want some tea or water?” he called out.

“Tea please,” I flopped back on the couch and forced my eyes to focus straight ahead, trying to wake myself up. Blinking, I was very surprised to suddenly find a Diefenbaker in my face.

“Dief!” I cried out and hugged him around the neck lightly. “Dief, I missed you so much!” I kissed his nose after he barked his hello. “Yes, I know, I was gone for a long time. I know…” he licked my face. “Eww, Dief slobber!” I laughed as he got off me and sat in front of the coffee table. Dad had come into the room, and Dief knew he was not allowed on the couch. Dad’s bed and my bed, yes, but not the couch.

Dad brought me a mug of peppermint tea, understanding that my stomach probably couldn’t handle much more at the moment. I took a sip and breathed in the steam. Lovely.

After that first sip, I was feeling a bit more awake, and suddenly I recognized the smell coming from the kitchen.

“Dad, you’re making spaghetti with meat sauce?” his culinary skills had improved since we moved to Chicago, but there were times that he still wanted to make the simpler dishes with the minimum amount of fuss.

“That we are,” he smiled, looking back at the kitchen.

“And are you…” I got up and went into the kitchen to take a peek at sauce bubbling away. “Oh my God, is that caribou?”

I turned around to see both Dad and Ray smirking.

My mouth fell open in shock. “Oh my…” I blinked, forcing myself to close my mouth. “How did you get it?:

“I know a good butcher,” Ray smiled at me. “When your Dad told me you’d probably want your favourite meal when you came back from the top of the world, and that it used caribou, well… I called Ma Vecchio’s guy to see if he knew where to get it.”

“Oh you didn’t have to, it must have cost you a fortune!” Caribou meat was expensive when having to import it, whereas you could get it from anyone’s freezer in Fort Norman. If they didn’t cull the herd every year, we’d have a really big problem on our hands.

“Wanted to do something nice for you,” Ray seemed a little nervous, as though he were struggling to hold something in. I looked over at Dad, who had suddenly adopted his sentry duty look. “It’s not every day you come home from the Arctic.”

Ray Kowalski was suddenly one of my favourite people, but the look on Dad’s face had me worried. “Dad, are you okay?’           

I didn’t even need to ask the question. There was something all three of us needed to talk about, and he was clearly worried about my reaction.

“Dad, what is it?” I took charge of the situation and went to the table. Any and all “big” conversations we’d had since we’d moved to Chicago took place around the kitchen table, as they’d taken place in the truck when we lived in Fort Norman. “Is something wrong?”

“Not wrong, just different,” he bit out before sitting down, and Ray did the same. From the way he and Ray had been speaking earlier, and the hand gestures I could swear I saw as we were driving home…

“Different how?” I didn’t really need him to tell me, I think I already knew. Dad and Ray had fallen in love, and they didn’t know how to tell me. “Okay, to make this easier, you give me three guesses. If I guess correctly, you tell me and we all stuff ourselves full of spaghetti and meat sauce and be happy. If I don’t, then I owe you dinner. Fair?”

I saw Ray shrug. “Sounds fair to me. Since you’re in college, we won’t break your wallet.”

I laughed. “Oh thanks, that’s very thoughtful.” I looked at Dad, who still looked like he was standing sentry duty. “Alright. Guess number one: you got fired.”

No reaction.

“Okay, that was a throwaway guess. No way Inspector Thatcher would let you go. She’d miss you too much. Plus I think she wants you in her bed.” Dad’s eyes went wide. “Oh come on! I’ve been around the Consulate long enough to see how she is around you. Anyway, guess number two: Ray is moving in here because his place is a shithole.”

Ray snorted. “She get that from you, Ben?”

“No, that comes from her mother’s side of the family,” Dad looked slightly more relaxed now. “Although that mouth, miss…”

“Oh please, I’m sure you’ve heard plenty worse,” I tilted my head back and ran my fingers through my hair, tying it up in a messy bun, “Oh wonderful, it’s off my neck. So, last guess… you and Ray are in love, but you weren’t sure about how to tell me because you didn’t know how I’d react.”

Dad went red, and I saw Ray’s eyes shift.

“Oh, that’s it, isn’t it?” I felt my face break out into a wide grin. “Quite frankly, it’s about time.”

Dad’s eyes went wide in shock as Ray gripped his knee under the table. “Excuse me?”

“Dad, you’ve been a widower for over 20 years,” I reached forward over the table for his hand. His grip was very firm. “You raised me without a partner because you felt it was your duty to Mom’s memory.” He squeezed tighter at the mention of Mom. “But you don't have to do that anymore. If you and Ray are happy, there is absolutely no reason why I shouldn't be happy for you too.”

“And, uh….” Ray broke in, his voice low. “It doesn’t bother you that I’m a guy?”

“No, why should it?” I answered, hoping to reassure them both. “Look, I really appreciate that you told me, and I know you were worried, but there’s no need to be. Although I do have to warn you, Ray,” I  kept my tone very light. “Hurt my dad and you’ll have me to answer to.”

Ray laughed, and I saw Dad smile.

“Well, now that that’s out of the way,” Ray got up and went back to the stove. “What do you say to spaghetti and meat sauce?”

It was my turn to laugh as Dad let go of my hand and leaned forward in his chair.

“I’m glad you like him, Abby.”

“I liked him the moment I saw him,” I whispered back. “And even now, I can see how happy he makes you. I think Mom would be happy for you.”

“I hope so,” he nodded. “Although I still found myself asking for her permission.”

I smiled. That was typical of Dad. After all, my mother, June, had been his first love, and you never do forget your first love. Especially if the consequences of a first love were a pregnancy and a baby. Part of the difficulty of moving on for him, as I understood it, was that Mom and I looked almost identical, and he was scared of losing her if he married again.

But now that I see him with Ray, even in the short time I’ve been home, it’s very clear that they’ve been in love for quite a while. I’d been away at college, and went straight from my end of year exams to Fort Norman, so I hadn’t seen him since Christmas, but even then something was different. Dad carried himself differently, he spent a lot more time at the precinct (although I thought it was because he and Ray Vecchio were such good friends and they enjoyed hanging out), and he was smiling a lot more.

“I know she’d give you permission, and she’d probably tell you that you don’t need to ask,” I finally answered, squeezing his hand. “You didn’t have to wait to tell me though. I’ve only been home for a few hours and I like Ray already, even if he is a Polish mother.”

“Hey now, don’t knock it till you try it,” Ray reappeared from the kitchen carrying the pot of meat sauce and placed it on the trivet that sat on the table. “My mum is going to want to meet you, especially if you’re okay with me being in your dad’s life.”

“In that case, what is she going to think of suddenly having a twenty-one year old granddaughter?”

“We’ll just tell her the stork dropped you on our doorstep,” Ray went back into the kitchen to grab the bowl of spaghetti noodles that had been left behind.

“Sure, because we all know _that’s_ where babies come from.”

It had been a very long time since I’d heard Dad laugh like he was now. A deep belly laugh that reverberated through the whole kitchen. His smile went all the way up to his eyes, which was very very rare.   

“I think we broke him, Ray,” I stage-whispered across the table.

“I’m alright, really,” Dad managed through his subsiding laughter. “I missed this, I truly did.” Once we were all settled at the table, we fell into an easy conversation about how they met, how long they’d been together, and how Dad had told Ray about me.

“I saw your picture in his wallet,” Ray twirled spaghetti around his fork and took a bite. “Hey, that’s really good, Ben. You said it’s everywhere in the Northwest Areas?”

“Territories,” Dad corrected, ever the stickler for proper place names and grammar. “And yes. If we didn’t cull the herd, there would be a big problem of overpopulation. In fact, Abigail’s grandfather Henry was a very good shot. He’d go out every year and bring back at least two caribou. It gave us enough meat for the year.”

“Don’t you get tired of it?”

“Actually, it’s really delicious,” Dad served himself and continued talking. “And frankly, in the Territories, beggars can’t be choosers. Whatever we can get, we make do.”

“Yeah, but then again, what choice do you have when you’re stuck in a place that’s frozen for nine months a year?” I cut in. “Anyway, which picture?” I asked, changing the subject as I poured myself a glass of water from the pitcher on the table.

“From your first day of college,” Ray answered. “Right after you’d moved into your dorm room with…”

“Alexandra?” I filled in. Alexandra and I had been best friends since the age of twelve. She’d been the first person to say hello and had also offered to have me over to her house. It seems like such a small gesture now, but it was such a defining moment in my life. She’d been my first friend, and I think I’d been hers. Plus, almost ten years later, she was the closest thing I had to a sister. When we started applying to colleges, we’d applied to the same ones, as we both wanted to go into literary publishing and library sciences. When we both got accepted to the University of Chicago, it just made sense for us to see if we could apply to be roommates in the dorms.

“Yeah, I think that’s the picture,” Ray nodded as he twirled spaghetti around his fork again. “Anyway, your dad tells me you’re not thinking of a career in law enforcement? You wanna go into publishing?”

“I like reading,” I answered, and out of the corner of my eye I saw Dad smile. “There are so many stories and adventures just waiting to be had, but only if someone is willing to take the chance and write it down. I love the idea that perhaps I could help discover the next Great American Novel. Or Canadian, depending on where I end up living.”

Dad was smiling again. His grandparents had been librarians, and had instilled a love of reading and literature in him at a very early age. He’d done the same thing with me, though not as zealously. When I told him I wanted to go into publishing, he’d been ecstatic. Not for the fact that I was choosing to do something related to books and literature, but the fact that I was following my own path, something he’d given up in order to be my dad.

“Hmm… you recommend anything for a Chicago flatfoot who likes mystery?”

I’m sure my eyes went wide. “Truth be told, Ray, I didn’t think you were one for reading.”

“Yeah, that’s your dad’s influence,” he admitted, shrugging and smiling across the table at Dad, whose smile had only grown wider as he listened to Ray and I talk. In truth, he looked relieved. He’d wanted so badly for Ray Kowalski and I to like each other, and I really didn’t want to ruin it for him.

“Well, in that case, how about _Sherlock Holmes_ , or the _John Carter of Mars_ series?”

Just as he was about to answer, the cordless phone rang. I bolted out of my chair and went to check the call display. A new area code, and definitely not from Chicago.

I picked it up and spoke into the mouthpiece. “Hello, Fraser residence?”

“Hello Abigail,” it was my Uncle Innusiq. This was odd, he never called us, especially not after Dad and I moved to Chicago. The move had only given him another reason to dislike Dad. He already blamed my dad for my mom’s death, and when Dad had taken me to Chicago, Uncle had seen it as a personal slight; taking an Inuit child out of her homeland, never mind that I’d asked for it, and, as my father, Dad had asked my grandmother’s permission and gone to the elders as well, to be sure everyone had had equal consideration. “I’m glad you’ve made it back to Chicago safely.”

“Thank you,” I answered, switching to Inuktitut. “Is everything alright?”

“Actually, I would like to speak to your father.” Uncle’s voice was clipped and strained.

I nearly dropped the phone in shock. “You… you want to speak to Dad?” Had Hell suddenly frozen over? I frantically waved at Dad, who, like me, bolted out of his chair toward the phone.

“Is he available?”

“Yes,” I fought to keep my voice under control. “Yes, he’s, uh… he’s right here.” I handed the phone to Dad. “It’s Uncle.”

Dad’s eyes went wide. I had thought he would have picked up on that when I had switched to Inuktitut, but it could have been that he was a little distracted. He nodded and took the phone into the bedroom, while I went back to the table to sit with Ray.

Things had suddenly gotten a lot more interesting.

“So, uh… what’s the story there?” Ray pushed his plate to the side and leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table. “He’s told me a bit, like how he was sixteen when he and your mom got married, and that your mom died just after you were born, but he didn’t say much about your uncle.”

“That’s a sad story,”I nodded, meeting his gaze. “They used to be best friends, when they were young kids.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, but then I showed up. Oops.” I know it was no laughing matter, but I sometimes found it easier to introduce the subject with humorous undertones. “And now he’s calling, but I think it’s more because I tore him a new asshole when I went to visit.”

“What you do mean?”

“He’s done nothing but badmouth Dad my entire life, and for something that’s not Dad’s fault,” I explained. “So finally I had enough, and told him so.”

_Driving down the road from the Norman Wells airport back to Fort Norman was no easy task, but Grandmother had many years of experience with it. When we’d first moved to Chicago, she’d driven with us to the airport so she could take the truck back and use it for all the work they did. A snowmobile just wasn’t enough, and Dad knew it. That had been nine years ago, and the truck, with Innusiq doing regular maintenance on it, still ran wonderfully. In fact, because Dad had transferred the deed to our house in Fort Norman to my grandparents should they have ever needed it, Innusiq bought it from them and moved in soon after we left._

_All this Grandmother told me while we were driving back. I would stay with them, as Innusiq and his wife, Sheila, had their own family, and didn’t want me to feel crowded. Plus, Grandmother reasoned, they’d missed me, and Innusiq and Sheila would be over for dinner with their two kids, Grace, who was six, and Jonathan, who was four. When they weren’t visiting, I could spend time with my grandparents, especially since Grandfather was getting older and couldn’t go out as much._

_I was very surprised to see Innusiq standing at the door when we finally got to the house. He smiled at me as I got out of the truck and came out to help me with my bag. I was very much like Dad: I could pack an entire month’s worth of supplies into one backpack and be perfectly self- sufficient.Once he set my bag in the guest bedroom (that had once been my Mom and Dad’s bedroom), he greeted me properly._

_“It’s lovely to see you again, Abigail,” he smiled at me again and pressed his nose to my cheek. “You’ve grown so tall!”_

_“I didn’t expect to see you here yet. Grandmother said you would be here for dinner.”_

_“And what time is it, Abigail?” he grinned._

_"I don’t know, I’ve been traveling for over a day. No idea.”_

_He chuckled. “Not to worry. It’s about six in the evening. Come and meet my wife, and the children.”_

_I stopped, letting the words sink in. “You got married?” Of course he had, Grandmother had told me so._

_“Yes I did,” he seemed really happy, smiling as I’d so rarely seen him do when I was younger. “Not long after you and your father moved.”_

_“I’m glad for you.” It seemed the right thing to say. Clearly she made him happy, and how could I begrudge him that?_

_“Well thank you,” I smiled as I followed him through to the living room, where I saw a short, slender lady sitting cross legged on the floor, the two children on her lap, immersed in the story of Sleeping Beauty. "Sheila?”_

_Sheila looked up from the book she had in her hands and smiled at her husband, tapping her daughter on the knee to get her to move.When she stood up, I immediately how gorgeous she was. Very tall, with very kind eyes. Without hesitation, she smiled and leaned in to kiss my cheek._

_“You must be Abigail, I’ve heard a lot about you.”_

_“All good things, I hope,” I answered. “It’s really nice to meet you, I’m sorry it’s taken so long.”_

_“Oh well, things happen,” Sheila was very gracious, especially considering the fact that I hadn’t been to Fort Norman in over nine years. “I’m very pleased to finally meet you. Your uncle is very proud of you. Although I do find the resemblance somewhat surprising.”_

_“What resemblance?”_

_“He’d told me you looked like your mother, I just didn’t expect how similar you looked.”_

_“Oh. Yes, well, I often hear that,” I nodded, thankful that, if she’d heard exactly how Innusiq actually felt about me and the circumstances surrounding my existence, she’d had the grace not to mention it. “Uncle tells me I have cousins?”_

_“Indeed you do,” she looked down at a young girl and boy who seemed intent on hiding behind their mother’s knees. “Come on out, you two. Abigail won’t bite.”_

_The two little ones looked at her with wonder. Realizing that I probably looked extremely intimidating, I got down on my knees and waited, palms up to show them I didn’t mean any harm. “Hello there.”_

_“‘Lo,” came the timid reply from behind Sheila’s knees.”Daddy said a tall lady was coming to visit. Are you the tall lady?”_

_“Yes,” I answered, understanding that the simplest explanation would often be the correct one.”My name is Abigail. My mommy was your daddy’s sister, and that makes me your cousin.”_

_A pair of curious brown eyes peered at her, and, very slowly, a young girl appeared. Approaching slowly, she tapped my palm with her finger._

_“My name is Grace, and I’m six.” I could remember, at six, being proud of my age as well. “How old are you?”_

_“Me? I’m twenty-one.”_

_“Wow!” Grace answered. “You’re old! Why are you so old, Abigail?”_

_I snorted, trying not to laugh as Sheila looked embarrassed at her daughter’s frankness._

_“I’m old because I was born faster than you.” I quipped, smiling at her as Grace approached me. “Do I get a high five?”_

_Grace complied. “I like you, Abigail. You’re cool.”_

_“That’s all I’ve ever wanted,” I assured her. Because, as everyone knows, if your six year old cousin tells you you’re cool, then it must be true. “Who’s that over there?”_

_“That’s Jonathan, he’s my brother, he’s shy,” Grace informed me, taking my hand and leading me into the kitchen. “Grandmama just said supper’s ready.” She patted the chair closest to her at the table. “Sit by me?”_

_“Sure,” I answered as we all sat down together. Grandmother and Grandfather had on a more elaborate meal for my first night back in Fort Norman: roast beef and mashed potatoes with sauteed peppers. That was really expensive, as peppers and potatoes had to be flown in, as did the beef. Grandmother and Grandfather were not wealthy, and they knew they did not have to go to such trouble for me, but they had done so. I was incredibly honoured._

_Innusiq and Sheila sat themselves close to Grace and I, in order to keep an eye on their children. As Jonathan still wasn’t sure about me, it looked as though he was going to spend dinner time sitting on his mother’s lap._

_“Oh, Abigail,” Grandmother spoke for the first time since I’d gotten in the door. “I haven’t had a chance to ask you yet. How is your father doing?”_

_“He’s very well, Grandmother,” I spoke to the whole table as I answered her. “I came up here immediately after my end of year exams so I haven’t been able to see him quite yet, but I will call him once we’re all finished here.”_

_“Daddy says that your daddy is…” Grace had switched to Inuktitut and let out a word I’d only ever heard Innusiq say about the Devil and a certain group of dictators._

_I bit my lip and looked at Innusiq, whose face had gone carefully blank. Both Sheila and Grandmother looked sick, and Grandfather looked to be on the verge of apoplexy due to the shock._

_“Really?” I fought the urge to reach across the table and punch him in the jaw. “Uncle, may I have a word with you? In private.”_

_He followed me out to the living room, where I didn’t give him any time to explain himself. As I said, he’d badmouthed my father my entire life, and I knew that what he said wasn’t true, but Grace didn’t know that. Neither did Jonathan. They’d never met my dad, and if I didn’t put a stop to it now, they’d never know anything different._

_“I know you don’t like my dad and never will, but that is no reason to badmouth him to children who haven’t even met him!” I wasn’t even bothering to keep my voice down. “And honestly, do you know how it feels to hear such things about someone you love? Would you say such things about my mother?”_

_“Of course not,” he interjected, surprised at my rage. “He is the reason you don’t have a mother, Abigail, and I will never forgive him for that.”_

_“Oh, he’s the reason?” I shouted, inching closer to his face. “You must be joking! It was an accident. It was no one’s fault that she died. She had a postpartum hemorrhage, and that’s why she’s not here,” I made a fist and opened and closed it to keep myself from punching him in the face. “And while we’re on the subject, there are plenty of other sixteen year old boys who would have abandoned their babies, never to be heard from again, but he didn’t leave me. Let me ask you, if the roles were reversed, and you ended up a single father, what would you have done? Let Grandmother raise your child? Or the other grandparents?”_

_“I…”_

_“Shut up and listen. For once, just listen.” I was fighting to keep my temper under control. I didn’t lose my temper often, but when I did, you better believe me when I say run. “He tried to do his best for everyone concerned. Why do you think he went to the Elders for advice? That’s a very tough thing to do in a place like Fort Norman. Like it or not, Uncle, my dad is pretty damn brave to do what he did.” I stopped for a second to catch my breath. “Plus, do you know just how expensive it is to fly up here? I saved for over a year, even with all my tuition fees, to be able to come up here and visit you. Even then Dad had to help me with the balance. I don’t know why I should bother if all you’re going to do is sneer about him all the time. Do you think I would have had the slightest chance of going to university if he hadn’t taught me? Let’s face it, Fort Norman doesn’t have the best teaching staff in the country, even if they do their best. He gave me a chance. He deserves for you to give him a chance too. Besides, my mother loved him.”_

_Innusiq flinched at the mention of my mother. I’d staked my claim on her memory, and he didn’t know how to respond._

_“I really don’t think my mother would have appreciated my uncle calling her husband a name you usually reserve for the Devil and Hitler.” Innusiq’s eyes went wide. He knew I was right, but he was too damn stubborn to admit it. “Yeah, Mom and Dad were married, remember?”_

_I could see Innusiq trying to hold himself together, but he wasn’t doing a very good job of it. He knew I was right, but, again, that didn’t mean he was willing to admit it._

_I looked out of the corner of my eye to see the rest of the dinner party in absolute shock._

_“Are you finished?” Innusiq asked. “Because, as much as you like to think your father has told you the whole story, he is not entirely innocent in the whole affair. No doubt he’s painted himself as the saviour in the whole narrative.”_

_“Oh, that’s a fine looking high horse,” I snorted, crossing my arms over my chest. “He never has. He’s told me time and time again how guilty he felt for my mom’s death and his part in it, but he does not regret the fact that I am alive. You, on the other hand, you can’t seem to accept that.”_

_I heard Sheila’s gasp from the other room. Apparently Innusiq had never told her anything about this. Grandmother and Grandfather said nothing, knowing how long I had kept this to myself and how badly I needed to say it.Instead, the three adults at the table distracted Grace and Jonathan so that I could finish talking._

_“And you know damn well Mom was not entirely innocent in the whole thing either. It takes two people to make a baby. She laid down same as Dad did, and oops, now there’s me.” I felt the tension melt out of my body completely. “At least they tried, and Dad did everything he could to repair his relationship with you, but you wouldn’t even listen to him.”_

_“I couldn’t forgive him.”_

_“Even twenty-one years later?” I prodded. I was determined that he was not going to walk away from me and this conversation.”You two haven’t spoken in over nine years, not since we moved to Chicago. Would it really be so bad to pick up the phone and say hello?”_

_When I’d finished, he didn’t say another word to me. He packed up Sheila and the kids and left. Once they’d gone, I all but collapsed onto the couch. Grandfather came into the living room and covered me with a blanket, while Grandmother made me a cup of tea. That seemed to be their way of comforting me: cover with a blanket and then make tea. Tea cured all, it seemed._

_“You know, Abigail, I tried to get him to understand that for years,” Grandfather told me. “Even when you were very young. I said to him ‘your sister may be gone, but her daughter needs you now. You cannot hate a child for something like this. You cannot hate your brother-in-law for something that was not his fault.’ But he has not listened. I am glad you told him so.”_

_“Dad said he always thought you ignored him unless the subject had to do with me,” I cannot stop myself from talking. “He thought that everyone hated him because of what happened, and Uncle was always saying terrible things, and Dad didn’t deserve it. Was I wrong to say what I said?”_

_“No, you were very right,” Grandmother ran a hand over my hair and sat down on the chair beside the couch. She suddenly looked a lot younger now, with a smile that I hadn’t seen for a long time. In truth, I think she was relieved. “Hopefully he takes what you said to heart and picks up the phone.”_

_“I think Dad would like that,” I nodded, picking up my cup of tea and blowing over the top. Still too hot to drink, but it smelled delicious. “Truth be told, I would too. Sheila seems lovely, and it’s nice to know that I’ve got cousins. I wished for that, growing up.”_

_“I remember,” Grandmother nodded. “It just didn’t happen because of how young your mother and father were. But anyway, regardless of how your life started, Abigail, you’ve grown into such a confident young lady. As much as we resented the fact that your father requested a transfer, it was the best thing he could have done for you. Look at you now! All grown up and going to university.”_

_I smiled, sitting up. “I want to work for a publishing house,” I started. “Who knows what adventures there are, waiting within the pages of a manuscript? I want to be the one to discover those.”_

_“It sounds as though you’re doing very well,” Grandfather interjected. He was a very quiet man, did not speak often, but this seemed to grab his interest. “What sorts of things do you have to study in order to get into a publishing house?”_

Ray listened intently, as the phone call between Dad and Innusiq seemed to be taking quite a while. I could only hope that Ray understood the enormous implications of said phone call. Although Dad was a widower, he still considered Innusiq to be his brother-in-law, and always would. If Innusiq had truly forgiven Dad, there were going to be a lot of conversations similar to this one.

Just a few moments later, I heard Dad’s bedroom door open, and Dad walked out, the cordless phone clutched in his hands, his face the perfect mask, except for his eyes. There was a look in his eyes that, if I didn’t know better, would have looked like heartbreak.

Suddenly, Dad’s hands started shaking and the phone crashed to the floor.

“Dad?” Both Ray and I bolted up from the table. I got him to sit on the couch while Ray put the phone back into its charging base. “Dad, what is it? What happened?” I was suddenly extremely nervous; it wasn’t like Dad to stop talking like that. It was like he didn’t hear me. “Daddy?”

He turned to me, and, switching to Inuktitut, said “He forgave me.”

I gasped and covered my mouth. “Oh my…” I watched as Ray sat down beside us and grabbed Dad’s hand, realizing that this was extremely important. “That… that’s great news.”

I don’t think he heard me. In reality, he probably didn’t. He just sat, staring at his hands, as though he couldn’t believe that Innusiq had spoken to him, let alone forgiven him. Ray moved in closer, his hand now on Dad’s thigh. “Ben, you in there, buddy?”

Dad wasn’t prone to babbling nonsense, but the way he looked at Ray told me that he didn’t want me to hear or see what he was about to say.

“I’ll um… I’ll go take Dief for a walk,” I said loudly. Dief’s ears perked up at the mention of a walk. “Dief, do you wanna go see Alex? Let’s go see Alex.”

Dief barked. I pulled on my shoes, grabbed my Walkman and a scoop bag for Dief just in case, and went out the door. The good thing about this plan was that Alexandra, called Alex, lived about twenty minutes walking distance from our apartment building. She and I had been best friends since I’d moved to Chicago, even moving into the same dorm together at university. If I could get her to walk outside with me and Dief for a while, it would give Dad and Ray time to “talk”.

Sure, “talk”.

ooOoo

Ray said nothing for quite a while, he just let Ben talk. In the year that he’d known Ben, he’d never really talked about Innusiq. His mother-in-law, yes, because she’d helped him raise Abby until she was twelve, and then he’d come down to Chicago because he’d requested a transfer. Apparently Innusiq had rejected any apology Ben had tried to give him, and, twenty-one years after the fact, he’d accepted them all at once.

Poor Ben, he looked completely lost.

“Hey,” Ray whispered in his ear. “You wanna talk about it?”

Ben’s hands shook fiercely. He couldn’t get himself to stop. “I _am_ talking, Ray.”

“No, you’re not. You’re babbling, Babbling and I don’t have the slightest idea what you’re babbling about. You’re saying stuff about forgiveness and Innusiq and being at fault and I don’t understand a single word of it.”

Ben stopped, and forced himself to focus on Ray’s face. “What do you want to know?”

“Anything you wanna tell me,” Ray insisted, throwing his arm around Ben’s shoulder. “Abby’s your daughter, June was your wife, Innusiq’s your brother-in-law. I know all that. I wanna know what happened that Innusiq wouldn’t talk to you for all these years. Abby told me you used to be best friends.”

Ben hung his head. “June and I discovered she was with child.”

“Uh huh…”

“We were fifteen. She cried when she told me, she was so happy.” It sounded as though it was still really painful to think about. “I’d been in love with her since the first day I saw her, and when we discovered sex…” he had to stop for a moment and compose himself. “I lost my mind completely. We both forgot everything. Neither of us had a prophylactic, but we thought one time without it wouldn’t hurt, especially if the human body was meant to be enjoyed by both people.”

“So no condom, and oops, there’s a baby that turned out to be Abby.”

“Well, that took several more times, as we thought we were invincible and condoms weren’t readily available in Fort Norman, but essentially yes,” Ben could see June’s smile in his mind’s eye, the day she had asked him to meet her at the camp ground, and told him her news. “That being said, Abby wasn’t always Abby,” Ben continued, moving Ray’s arm from around his shoulder and gripping his hand. “June had wanted to call her Caitriona. After she died… well, Caitriona is Abby’s middle name.”

Ray nodded as Ben shifted closer.

“Anyway, June and I got married because I wanted to do the right thing. I suddenly had a family where I’d been deprived of one before. And when Abby was born, and June died, I nearly lost everything.”

“So what does this have to do with Innusiq suddenly forgiving you?”

“Everything,” Ben insisted. “He had told Rebecca, Abby’s grandmother, that he could not hate a child for something that they could not control. Because of that, it was _my_ fault that June was dead, and I deserved everything he said to me. I accepted that hatred, because he was right. However irrational my feelings about it were, his reasoning was that if I hadn’t gotten June pregnant, she wouldn’t have died.”

Ray’s face contorted. “Say what now?” He could hardly believe what he was hearing. “Abby told me herself that June had a… what’d she call it? A postparted hemor-something…”

“Postpartum hemorrhage,” Ben corrected him, hanging his head. “I was in the room the entire time. I watched my wife die, because the doctors and midwife couldn’t do anything to save her.” There were tears in his voice, but none on his face. He would not let that happen, not in front of Ray. “She asked that they lay Abby on her chest because she knew she was dying, and she wanted Abby to know who she was.” He couldn’t stop himself, the story just spilling from his lips. “I had my hand over June’s on Abby’s back, understanding that it would be the last time I’d be able to touch her, to tell her I loved her. And when she died, she told us both that she loved us.”

Ray felt his heart break. Not knowing what else to do, he pulled Ben to him in a hug, closing the distance between them.

“Then Abby started screaming so loudly I thought my eardrums would burst,” he continued. “Whatever life June had passed into her, and then I was left a widower with a newborn baby, still covered in blood and vernix.” He had his head buried in Ray’s shoulder and was mumbling the story now. “I had no idea what to do, so when Rebecca took pity on me and handed me my daughter, I swore I would never let myself fall in love again, because look what love had done to my wife.”

Ray squeezed him tightly.  

“I know, it’s irrational.” Ray noticed that Ben wasn’t shaking as much now. “Because I love you, Ray Kowalski. You and Abby mean everything to me.” _Now_ the very beginnings of tears were falling, Ray could feel them on his shirt. “In any case, Innusiq also told me that he and Abby had a long heart to heart talk when she went up to Fort Norman, and what she said made him see the error of his ways, especially now that he has children of his own.”

Ray nodded and stroked the  back of Ben’s head. He could see this was still very painful, that he hadn’t gotten close to anyone else since June had died. It was obvious that she’d meant the world to Ben, like Stella had for him. But he and Stella hadn’t had any kids, and certainly not any kids when they were sixteen.

“At first Innusiq wanted to take Abigail from me completely, told me that I had no business trying to raise an Inuit child when I myself wasn’t Inuit,” Ben swallowed, his throat clicking. “But I refused. I said I’d raise my daughter because she was my daughter and that was the end of it. Our argument was so fierce that Rebecca and Henry, remember I told you he’s Abigail’s grandfather, took it to the Elders for resolution.”

“Sounds like your in-laws were pretty open-minded people.”

“Well, not at first. They were furious with June and I. It’s generally considered a problem when your fifteen year old daughter comes home and tells you she’s with child,” Ben reasoned. “It was an even bigger problem because June was Inuit and I am not. Rebecca screamed the house down, and Henry physically threw me out the front door. I didn’t see or speak to June for over six weeks. I’m certain Innusiq would have shot me otherwise.”

Ray’s eyes narrowed. “But you were around all the time after that, right?”

“Well yes, but only because June snuck out of the house and came to my grandparents’ cabin,” Ben’s grip on Ray slackened, and he let go, getting up and going into the kitchen. “I’ve got to clear the table, but I’ll keep talking.” Ray followed his lead, understanding that Ben needed to keep his hands busy, especially if it was a sensitive subject. “Anyway, she went around to the front door, and knocked…”

_Martha Fraser looked at the clock in response to the knock at the door. Barely four-thirty in the morning. She was usually up at this time, anyway, with all the work to be done. It would be another half an hour before she went to rouse Benton, and George was currently in the barn, as the only mirror they owned was out there, who could that be?_

_She opened the door to find June Amaruq, wrapped in a sweater and jeans and not much else, which made very little sense. It was the beginning of May, the snow had barely begun to melt._

_“June, how lovely to see you,” Martha greeted her. “Although I must admit I’m surprised, it’s been nearly six weeks! And what are you doing outside without a jacket on?”_

_“I’m sorry, Mrs. Fraser,” June answered. “I realize it’s early, but I came to see Benton. Is he awake?”_

_“He might be, let me check. It’s not long before I would have roused him anyway…” She turned to go toward her grandson’s bedroom door. “Come in and sit down, June. You must be freezing. Tea is almost ready.”_

_She did as Mrs. Fraser asked._

_Not surprisingly, Benton was usually a very light sleeper, and that was not about to change simply because it was a Saturday morning. “Benton, are you awake? There’s someone here to see you!”_

_“I’ll be right out, Grandmother!” he called back, slipping his plaid workshirt over a black t-shirt. He was already in his work jeans. Saturday morning chores were no different than any other day of the week, however he couldn’t help but think that perhaps there might be a day where he might have a little bit of leeway._

_Opening his bedroom door, he saw June sitting at the kitchen table, warming her hands on a mug of tea._

_“June…” Suddenly forgetting all sense of decorum, they ran and caught each other in a tight hug. “You’re alright? Tell me you’re alright.”_

_“I’m alright, Ben, I’m alright, really,” she whispered in his ear, kissing his cheek. “And so is the baby.”_

_Apparently she hadn’t whispered quietly enough, as Martha Fraser stood stock still and glared at them both._

_“Did I hear you correctly?” her voice was tight, her mouth drawn. “Did you say baby, June?"_

_"Yes I did." Now that Martha had heard her say so, she could not deny it.  
_

_"Are you certain you’re with child?"_

_“Yes I'm certain," June nodded. "But did you already know?”_

_“Well Benton did not mention anything, just that he’d been forbidden from seeing you, but I thought that had something to do with a different matter entirely.” Pragmatic as always, the older woman did not mention the fact that June was Inuit, and her grandson was not. “But now this makes sense. You’re absolutely certain?”_

_“Yes Mrs. Fraser,” June gripped Benton’s hand as George came in from the barn. She could feel him shaking as his grandfather stared at him._

_“What’s happened?”_

_“Oh dear…” Martha gripped the counter and then opened the cupboard. “I think we’ll all be needing some tea.”_

_Per her directions, all four of them sat at the table in silence. June was the first to speak, telling Martha and George Fraser that yes, she was with child, and Benton was the father. That was why he’d been forbidden to see and speak to her, and why she had not been back to see them._

_“Have you never heard of French letters, or taking yourself in hand, young man?” Martha asked, trying her best to hide her surprise. “As much as I don’t approve of such things, it would have been preferable to a pregnancy at the age of fifteen!”_

_“Yes Grandmother,” Benton stared at the table. “I have heard of such things.”_

_“So why did you not use them?” George interjected. “And more to the point, what do you two plan to do now?”_

_“We’ve not had a chance to discuss it, that’s why I snuck out and came to see you,” June answered, calm and collected. “I did not want to have made such a decision without first weighing all the options.”_

_“You snuck out? Young lady, what must your mother and father think?”_

_“They think I’m still asleep,” there was a heavy silence in the air. “Besides, I’m already with child, what other trouble could I get into?”_

_“Do not sass me, June Amaruq.”_

_“Apologies, Mrs. Fraser,” June hung her head. “It’s only… I couldn’t stand not talking to Benton,” she bit down on her lip. “How could I stay away, knowing that I’m carrying his child?”_

_Neither of his grandparents were moved but her outburst, if one could call it such. “So I ask you again,” George repeated, his voice softened. “What do you plan to do?”_

_“I will not terminate,” June shook her head, while Benton nodded in agreement. “And as you know, there are not many people who are willing to adopt a mixed child.”_

_“So I suppose that leaves you two with one option,” Martha covered her eyes and rested her elbows on the table. She let out an exasperated sigh and gathered herself together. “Well then, Benton Fraser, if you two are old enough to be going to bed together, then you need to make your own decision.”_

_“Decision?” His grandmother could be very vague in her speech when she wanted to be._

_“You know that your grandfather and I are planning a move to Inuvik in a few months time, taking the library,” Martha reminded him. “But now that this was landed in our laps, there are decisions to make. You can come with us and send money back to June and the child, and find your way down to visit them whenever you two agree on a visitation schedule, or you can stay here.”_

_“Certainly not in the cabin, we’ll be closing that up,” George interjected. “Perhaps your family, June, would allow Benton to stay near you, even if they are angry, which they have ample cause to be.”_

_“I’ll stay,” Ben blurted out. “I won’t leave June and the child.”_

_“I don’t think they’ll let you stay in the house,” June answered. “Even now they’re barely tolerating me, and I’m their daughter!”_

_“Then I will stay outside,” he’d made up his mind. “Tent or igloo, I don’t care. The baby is our responsibility.”_

_Both Martha and George nodded, seemingly accepting of their grandson’s decision. “You do realize that we’ll have to write to your father and tell him about this.”_

_“Of course we will,” Benton’s voice turned to steel. “Never mind that it just gives him another reason not to see me.”_

_“Benton!” Martha sounded scandalized. “I will not have you speak about your father that way.”_

_“Then how should I speak of him?” he challenged her, suddenly very brave. “He’ll use the baby as an excuse not to come home, same as he does for his work. I cannot do to my child what he’s done to me.”_

_“Perhaps we should go for a walk,” June cut in louder than needed, squeezing his hand. “May we please be excused, Mrs. Fraser?”_

_“Yes of course,” Martha answered, forcing a short smile. “But this discussion is far from concluded, you two. I expect to see you both back here this afternoon, when we are all feeling calmer. Your grandfather and I can do your portion of the chores this morning, Benton.”_

_“Yes Grandmother,” I answered as June dragged him out the door by the hand. They were at least fifteen minutes away before they both lost our composure, crying in each other’s arms._

“And did he?” Ray asked,

“Did he what, Ray?”

“Use it as an excuse?”

“Oh certainly,” Ben finished putting the dishes back into the cupboard as Ray wrapped up the leftovers and stuck them in the fridge. “As my grandmother insisted, I wrote to my father and told him our news, and then that was it.” He plunged his hands into the soapy dishwater and pulled out the cutlery they’d all used. Grabbing the dish towel off his shoulder, he made a point of drying the forks very thoroughly. “I didn’t see him again until I went to Depot, and he didn’t meet Abby until she was nearly three.”

He saw Ray’s eyes go wide. “That’s a real dick move.” He took the forks from Ben and put them away. “Wouldn’t he have had to send money to you anyway, since you were still sixteen?”

“As far as he was concerned, if I had a child, I was an adult and could earn my own money. Which I did. Rebecca and Henry looked after Abigail while I helped to build the community centre, washed dishes at the local bar, and did a season at a logging camp. I always sent money back and went home as much as possible. When I turned eighteen, I applied to the RCMP and then I asked if they would look after her when I went to Depot.” He fished around in the water to be sure they’d finished and pulled the plug, letting the water go down the drain. “I sent every penny that I didn’t need for necessities at Depot back to Fort Norman for Abigail’s upkeep, and whenever we had holiday time, I’d go back to Fort Norman and see her. Once I’d graduated, I requested a posting in the Northwest Territories.”

Ray forced his eyes back into his head as the door opened a few seconds later, and Abby and Dief came back inside.

“Hey Abby, how’d it go?”

“The walk? Oh fine. We went to see Alex and she came with us. She said she was bored, couldn’t sleep anymore. And she doesn’t start her shift at the grocery store until ten tonight. She’s doing the overnight shift.”

“Oh poor girl. Night shift sucks.” Ray agreed. "Tell her I sympathize."

“Yeah. Luckily my internship hours are from around 8 until 5, so that’s not so bad.”

“When does that start up?” Ben asked. “You didn’t actually tell me.”

“I didn’t?” Abby hung Dief’s leash in the closet. “Oh, well it starts up on Monday. That way I’ve got a few days to get over the jet lag. Alex’s doesn’t start until the next week, unfortunately, but at least we’ve both got them.”

“Where’s yours again?”

She rhymed off a name Ray had never heard of, Not that he paid much attention to publishers.

“Are you alright, Dad? You certainly look better.”

“Much better, honey,” he answered. “I really don’t know what you said to your uncle, but thank you.”

“What makes you think I did it?”

“He told me as much,” Ben answered as Ray rubbed the back of his neck and stood awkwardly to the side. “He said that you two had had a heart to heart talk, and that he’d seen the error of his ways.”

“Heart to heart? The error of his ways? Are you sure he said that? Because it was not a heart to heart conversation. I embarrassed him so thoroughly the first night I was there that he packed up his wife and kids after dinner and didn’t speak to me the rest of the time I was in Fort Norman.”

Ray snickered. “You didn’t tell me that part, hun.”

“Oh yeah. His daughter, Grace? I only met her while I was up there. Anyway, she’s six, and when she told me at the dinner table that Uncle calls you a name that he only reserves for the Devil and Hitler, I asked to speak to him in the living room and tore him a new asshole for badmouthing you. Like I told you, Ray, _I_ know all those things aren’t true, but Grace doesn’t.”

“You do realize, sweetheart, that I’ve known for years exactly what he thinks of me. Or thought, as is the case now.”

“Yeah, I do know that, and that’s because he blamed you and you blamed yourself for something you couldn’t help.” Abby pulled on the elastic that was slowly coming out of her hair. Securing it around her wrist, she dug into her pocket and pulled out her watch. “Hmm… well that didn’t take as long as I thought. Anyway, I’m going to have a shower, and then I’m going to bed.”

“Suit yourself,” Ben nodded, stepping toward her. “But before you do…” he wrapped his daughter in a tight hug. “I love you, and I am so proud of you.”

“I love you too.”

He let go of her and let her make her way into the bathroom.Turning back around, he saw Ray leaning against the doorway, smiling.

“You know, you raised a good kid.”

“Thank you kindly Ray,”

“I mean it,” he closed the gap between them and kissed him. “You did what a lot of other people wouldn’t do. Sleeping in a tent because you wouldn’t leave your girlfriend and baby. I don’t know many people who would do that.”

“Well, strictly speaking, sleeping in a tent was unnecessary,” Ben cleared his throat. “After about a week. When Rebecca and Henry realized that I was not going to leave, they let me sleep in the house. It was only after June and I got married that I was allowed to sleep in the same room as she was. After all, she was already pregnant, there wasn’t much more that could be prevented for not sleeping in the same room.”

Ray nodded.

“But, as I said, Ray, as much as I loved June and always will, you are my future.”

He smiled. It had taken Ben over twenty years to let himself fall in love again, and it had been no small feat. And now that he’d heard from Abby and Ben exactly what had happened, it was no wonder Ben had wanted nothing to do with love and romance.When he’d been sixteen, he and Stella had barely started dating, never mind getting married. Then again, they’d gotten married when they were nineteen, but that was besides the point. It had been the worst experience to lose her when she’d served him with divorce papers, but he couldn’t imagine her _dying_. Those words didn’t belong in the same sentence together.

“Hey, I’m pretty excited that I’m your future,” Ray reached out and pulled Ben to him. “There aren’t many guys who get a second chance at love and end up with an instant family.”

“Family, Ray? Surely you don’t mean Abby and I.” Ben smirked, mischief in his eyes.

“That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard,” he pulled Ben closer to the bedroom and kissed his partner’s neck. “Of course I mean you and Abby. Who else would I be talking about?”

“Some other handsome Mountie?”

“You mean Turnbull? Nah, you’re the only Mountie I have eyes for.” He kissed Ben’s neck again. “Ooh, my Mountie’s gone all red.”

Ben chuckled and captured Ray’s mouth in a kiss.

“I can hear you necking in the hallway!” came the shout through Abby’s bedroom door. “Close the door!”

Both men laughed and did as Abby asked. Whatever else they had planned to talk about could wait until morning.


End file.
